what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
