My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?