another moral hangover. fuck.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.