Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!