this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend