i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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