Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
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I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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