i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
