Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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