my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
