either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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