I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
