if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
