She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
