I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize