I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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