Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
