this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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