He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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