I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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