I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
