Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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