i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
