What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
