She said her name was "party"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
