you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
