billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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