haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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