Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
