i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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