the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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