So drunk its hurt
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize