ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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