I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
