Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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