he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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