so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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