If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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