why didn't you poke me back
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
