official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
