Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
