things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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