bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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