Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
