peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
