i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
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I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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