can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
