just come out here and I will go home with you...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think people are normalizing furries
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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