ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
