You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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