Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
