Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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