PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
