tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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