I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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