are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
