JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
