I just cut my nipple shaving
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
