why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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