I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
