What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
