I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
