so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
