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i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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