4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.