did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.