It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.