remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..