There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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