I wish I could punch you in the face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
