drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
