The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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