So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
