last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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