WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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